2025 happened. We are here to notice its end.

Most of my year’s significant events occupied the intimate spaces of my life. New or closer friendships, either from geography or from emotional distance. A friendship that acquired more breathing space and distance. Some of my closest loved ones gave me at least one health scare, mercifully always a scare, but still earning the scary part of the title. I got a little better at being present for people. I watched my kids grow and develop even more into the people that they are. That’s the biggest joy of being a parent, for me at least.

In regards to existing in public, I did a few things.

I spoke at the pulpit at three different Unitarian Universalist churches this year.

I was published in the UUA’s Braver/Wiser once. Another will be published in the New Year.

I lead my first bird watching walk. Incidentally, that will be documented in the Braver/Wiser forthcoming in the New Year.

I served a second year as Board President at my church, and we successfully called a new minister.

I submitted a watercolor piece to a local show and it was displayed. Yes, they displayed all submissions, why do you ask?

I have continued to have the same role serving the local County government. Government has a reputation for being steady and predictable, except that’s not the ambience the federal government is cultivating. So everyone who does business with the federal government is now working with that, including me.

As far as public things I am willing to say about the intimate spaces:

The kids are doing great and that is a joy.

I continue to be married to my favorite man. This year we passed 20 years together in a dating capacity, 16 years married. Ester Perel says that most people have multiple marriages in their life, and some people do them with the same person. That vibes with me. And the one I have right now, with this guy? It’s my favorite.

Because I am in the process of ending my 30s, The Algorithm started to show me divorce content, assuming I must have acquired a menagerie of resentments that I am ready to set free. What a joy it is not to be in that spot.

My wedding jewelry is showing a lot of wear – I have an emerald in my engagement ring. It’s gorgeous and I love it. It’s also a soft stone. I take the rings off a lot, but then life happens while I am wearing them. I have needed to accept that I do not live a soft-stone life, climbing under cars when they break down, using my body to get to work. The table of the gem is showing a lot of wear, and the prongs are thinning. I suppose a delicate person would have had more years. A delicate person is… someone else.

The biggest shift in my world this year involves my dear friend J.

Back when I lived in Seattle, I met J. J showed up to the church I was attending, mentioned moving, and I offered to help. We absolutely hit it off. Younger me struggled to cultivate close female friendships. J was the closest female friend I’d ever had, the lady in my life who most felt like home, and relating to her felt easy. I cannot overstate how much joy my friendship with her brought me. We were such deeply kindred spirits and being around her was such fun. She was the friend I called when I crashed my bike on railroad tracks in Ballard. She was the friend I called when I had free time to do something. When car-free Will and I needed a ride home from the hospital with our fresh firstborn, J and spouse drove us. Unfortunately, a consequence of moving back to New York, a move that was best for my family, also meant leaving behind our amazing group of friends, and specifically J. I grieved that the most. With J, I felt like I finally figured out how to have deep female friendship, felt a piece of my world that was missing had been found.

Fun Fact: J is actually a man now. Maybe that was why we got along so great.

I kept in touch with J. Phone calls and Facetime, wresting with the time zones. Then J moved to Australia a few years after I left Seattle and lived there for about nine years. During this time, I’d leave every phone call with the joyful rush that comes with being with loved ones. I was also feeling a bit convicted as though I was holding on to a tether because I couldn’t bear to fully disconnect with someone. I am a bit notorious for never letting go. It’s not always healthy. It reveals itself strongest when the friendship isn’t working out and I clearly can’t let it be. Here? J and I were on fabulous terms. But I knew my household budget, and that traveling to Australia was not in it. I feared that I was never going to see J in-person again.

Australia’s immigration policies became stricter, which unfortunately required J to come back. But to where? So much time had passed. J told me that he was thinking of moving to Buffalo. I couldn’t fathom ACTUALLY being that lucky, but hey. So I informed him that I was “going to enable the shit out of that plan”. He lived with my family for a bit, and then found an apartment seven blocks away. Suddenly I could walk to his home, after years of trying to figure the time zone different to Melbourne and if daylight savings time had happened to them yet. Since then, he bought a lovely house. It’s even closer to mine – a distance I feel OK with the kids wandering over unsupervised. Incidentally, this is what they plan to do.

I couldn’t be happier.

So this year my kids acquired a nearby uncle and I got a very close support. I’ve become closer to many more lovely people in South Buffalo, acquiring a walkable social world. Tonight we stroll to another dear friends’ home to call in the New Year. My friendships bring me so much joy.

The richness in my life is best measured by people. Yesterday, I stood in my kitchen and glared while my husband and children sang to me “Dominic, The Christmas Donkey” which is an absolutely abhorrent Christmas Carol. Mischief and silliness danced in all their eyes. I couldn’t help but laugh. They were doing it because they know me, because one of the ways you show you know someone is humor. Raising the kids with Will right now has been a lot of fun. Getting to know the kids in the people they are becoming? That’s been the best.

Every other meaningful thing I have done involved other people. Showing up for them, enjoying life together, benefiting from their warmth towards me, making the world more lovely a few iterations at a time. I am lucky.

I turn 40 next year, which is exciting. I am looking at everything planning how I want to do the rest of my life. Some of the questions don’t have discerned answers. The ones that do? They are the ones about people, about love, and I am looking forward to it.

I’ll tell you everything else as it happens.

Happy New Year, friends! May 2026 treat you well.