I’m telling you a story before it’s actually over. If you’ve been here before, “here” being this website, you probably picked up that I’m Unitarian Universalist, and fairly religious at that. There’s not a lot of us in the grand scheme of things. As a result, you don’t find the symbols of the faith decorating items at Target the way you do for let’s say Christianity.

The main symbol of Unitarian Universalism is a flaming chalice, and the use of it in churches is only about as old as I am. How it came to be is another example of how every single religious rite exists because some human being invented it. With that said, there is something primal about fire, something that makes visceral sense as why we stop and focus in its presence. It works for me.

It came to pass that I had cause to find a plurality of chalices. I will not tell you why – some things stay a mystery around here. I will share that I was on a budget. So. Where to go? Crosses are everywhere, chalices? Not so much.

First, I search denominational resources. They are lovely. They are also accompanied by numbers of dollars that make multiple acquisitions unobtainable. I direct my internet browser to Etsy. I use the keywords of my denomination. Again – all of the also beautiful chalices continue to be weighed down by a number of dollars that I cannot liberate for this cause.

I’m part of an online group of UUs, and I figure if there’s anyone in my life whose had this particular puzzle, it’s them. I ask for advice. I’m given links to websites, including IKEA, and a suggestion to thrift. My understanding of the task changed: I’m looking for something that fits the aesthetic but was not initially created for this use.

I learn that not all glass can survive candles – I experienced that once, in a cabaret. Mason jar centerpieces cracked against a soundtrack of show tunes, unable to tolerate direct heat. Breaking would not be a good look for a worship item. I stop looking for drinking chalices to repurpose and start looking for heat-safe, chalice shaped candleholders.

What makes it a proper chalice? Wider opening, candle visible? I guess we can always get bigger candles. There’s no Unitarian Universalist commandment saying, “THOU SHALL USE TEA LIGHTS” despite their proliferation. Hell, there’s no Unitarian Universalist commandments. There’s values. We used to have principles. (That’s a joke about bylaws. I’m great at parties.)

I find a pretty, suitable item at once of the sites offered. The price is right. The shape is suggestive. I can get the quantity I’m seeking. The reviews aren’t terrible. I order it. Trump enacts his tariffs. The item never ships. I reach out to a customer service department that does not respond and maybe does not exist. My hands are still empty, and the cause for acquisition still remains, AND I have a potential credit card dispute.

Back to Ebay and ShopGoodwill. It feels like search term mad-libs. Votive candle holders. Footed votive candle holders. I learn about a company called Partylite that’s made a whole lot of chalice-like candle holders. You can find them only one or two at a time from eBay, a purchasing experience that is effectively a wealth transfer to USPS. There’s a lot of ugly candleholders out there. They are most likely to present in quantities that meet my needs. I try really hard not to let my inclination for practicality make me forget that this was a pursuit of beauty.

And so the search continues. In a world of the profane, I’m seeking something to deem sacred. Not to be Mary Oliver, but isn’t that what we UUs always do? We’re in the woods, we’re among friends, we’re putting tealight candles into drinking objects and savoring our interrelatedness to the greater universe. And maybe that’s because we are always connected to that what is bigger than us, even when we’re not otherwise paying attention.